ClueRHPS?
by Jokersaccomplice
Summary: well I think the title says it all this comes from watching Rocky Horror and Clue waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much...if that's possible...please excuse any typos I'm working with Word Pad...thanks
1. First Arrivals

A.N. I watched Clue seven times and came up with this it's probably crap right now...sorry it's short but tell me what you think give me your ideas! thankies

CAST:

Mr.Green- Riff Raff

Col. Mustard-Brad Majors

Prof. Plum- Dr. Scott

Ms. Peacock-Colombia

Ms. White- Magenta

Ms. Scarlet- Janet Weiss

Cook- Eddie

Yvette- Rocky Horror

Wadsworth- Dr. Frank N Furter

The sky was dark and stormy the clouds tremelous with the coming storm. An electric blue F-150 with neon green lighting bolts on the side could be seen driving up the muddy slope to the eerie mansion. It stopped at the gates and a gloved hand reached out to the switch box and turned the key the gates responding by swinging open. Parking at the farther side of the house the driver stepped out. His curly black hair blew back in the forceful wind. He drew a satin cloak about himself and strode up to the stairs checking his illustrious makeup in a pocket mirror.

A loud uproar startled him as the once sleeping pitbulls awoke in snarls. He grimaced and dug out two chew toys and tossed them away from himself. The dogs ran after them with glee and soon loud squeaking could be heard. Straighteing his cloak and running a long and painted nail across his brow he entered the house. Boisterous music could be heard from the HALL as the man shrugged his cloak off and hung it up in the closet. His black sequined corset shimmered in the light from the chandelier and he pulled his gloves back up to his elbows. The loud click of his pumps on the wooden floor caused an echo. He entered the LIBRARY where the loud music was coming from.

"Yvette" he said scornfully the maid turned around his blonde bowl cut making him look very childish. He grinned stupidly holding a broken champagne flute and a rag. Rolling his painted eyes he walked over to the record player recognizing the song "I can make you a Ma--hahahaan..." he delicatly lifted the arm and the song broke off. He waltzed out mouthing the words as he went. "Make sure everything is erady" he muttered over his shoulder knowing that Yvette probably wouldn't even know what he was talking about. The doorbell chimed drawing his attentions. He opened the door with a broad smile. "Hello sir you are expected!"

"Is this--""Yes...you are Colonel Mustard are you not?" "No that's not my name my name is Col--" "You will be using an alias". Colonel Mustard handed his coat to the man eyeing him suspiciously "And you are?" "Wadsworth sir, the butler". Colonel Mustard nodded slowly grazing his figure with his eyes a smile small at the corner of his lips. "This way sir" gestured Wadsworth and the Colonel followed. Wadsworth led him into the LIBRARY with Yvette who handed him part of the broken flute and made a strange 'ugh' like noise which the Colonel took to mean hello. Wadsworth frowned at Yvette who looked stricken and picked up the champagne bottle carefully and shakily filled the glass. Wadsworth nodded happily and gave Yvette a pat on the shoulder, which turned into more of a pet as Wadsworth began to stroke Yvette's muscles.

Drawn from his reverie by another ring of the doorbell Wadsworth started gave a nodding bow to Colonel mustard and left closing the door. "Excuse me Wadsworth but---" he was cut off in suprise as the door he expected was in fact shelves of books most of which were of a scientific genre. As Wadsworth opened the door it revealed an overly pale red head in a black veil and short black dress. "Ah you must be Ms. White" he said with a smile she nodded holding up a letter "Yes that is what it said..." her voice was deep and her thickly made up eyes accentuated her deep frown. "I certanitly don't know why" she scoffed as he took from her a red purple coat which was perfectly Magenta in color. "I mean it's my least favorite color..." she grimaced and he returned to her side and led her to the LIBRARY. "Ms. White this is Colonel Mustard and Yvette" his smile quickly fell though as noticed the glare Ms. White and Yvette shared. "I see you know each other?" he asked puzzled as White stalked away and murmured a 'hello' to Mustard.


	2. Everyone has arrived

Discalimer : I own neither RHPS or CLue

A woman in a red and gold coat stared at a crooked car "I knew I should have gotten that spare tire fixed". A crash of thunder sounded and she flinched gasping. "oh dear!" she reached into her car and grabbed a newspaper, just in case. Headlights shone brightly slicing through the murky darkness. A car pulled up next to her "Excuse me do you need a lift?" came a heavy German accnet. Janet started "oh...oh yes if you wouldn't mind" she gave a shaky smile and opened the car door getting in and looking over hesitantly at the man next to her. She swallowed hard "Um...so where are you going?" "I am going to a dinner party".

She looked at him directly "oh really? so am I" she giggled lightly and handed hima letter. "Yes I recieved a similar letter" he took hers and read it over then handed it back. He started the wipers and drove on. They soon came upon a huge mansion they both looked at it mouths agape. Lightning streaked across the sky thunder echoing. She noticed the car was halted. "Why's the car stopped?" he looked at her honestly "It's frightned" she cocked an eyebrow and he kept driving. They parked and got out. Scarlet rang the doorbell. A scantily dressed man opened the door and looked from one of them to the other. "Professor Plum and Ms. Scarlet I didn't know you two were accquainted". Scarlet laughed "Oh! oh no were not!" Professor Plum smiled. Wadsworth nodded slowly and gestured them inside. He took their coats and put them in the closet whilst they shook off the wet. Then he gavea curt bow and led them inside.

The bell rang again and Wadsworth rolled his eyes angrily. He stomped to the door and swung it open. Mr. Green sstood staring at the barking dogs. Wadsworth sighed. "Sit!" he commanded Green did so and Wadsworth laughed. "No not you sir" Green just gave a half hearted smirk and his wide eyes returned to the dogs momentarily. Wadsworth's grin faded and he started inside Green following. "You must be Mr. Green" he sneered. "Yes" Green answered in a monotone following Wadsworth to the library where he was introduced and handed a glass of champagne which evidently suprised him as he stared at it in awe. A loud gong was heard and Green startled so bad he poured his beloved champagne on Ms. Peacock. "Oh my deepest apologies..." he groaned wiping her dress with his handkerchief, "I'm a bit accident prone" he grinned. "Well dinner is ready shall we go to the dining room?" Wadsworth said gesturing for them to follow him.

A.N.: okay short and crappy I know it'll get better I know...I also left out Ms. Peacocks entry because I totally forgot about it...wathch me be sorry coughs sorry if there's typos...I wrote it in a hurry...believe me I'll improve...just the long blicky part was hard...review.


	3. Dining Room DiscussionsMr Boddy arrive

A.N. okay since I have been asked to write more I shall! oh and there is one "bad" word in here just warning people so someone doens't get rid of my fic like my last RHPS fic...I'm still pissed about that...it was good and somebody just rpeorted it or somehting and it was erased! angry, foaming at mouth anyways...yes please enjoy...sorry for typos

They all sat Wadsworth smiling as he pulled a chair out for Scarlet and one for Green. "So why are we all here?" asked Plum curiously as he sat himself and put his napkin in his lap. "It is not ours to question why but to do and die" he frowned and pulled Peacocks cahir out a little far causing her to fall to the floor. He bit his tongue to restrain laughter.

"Die?" Plum asked anxiously "merely quoting sir from Sir---" "I like Kinsey myself" grinned Green. Colonel Mustard scowled "It's my turn! And the line isn't Kinsey it's Kipling!" "oh" Green looked down and away. Wadsworth's red lips turned upwards and his he cocked a brow "Kinsey eh? hm" he walked around to get the wine bottle and poured everyone a half glass of wine "accidentally" giving Green a little cough, cough more than everyone else. "Well anyways" coughed Ms. Peacock, "I think it's good that we all get to know each other I mean this lovely man is treating us with such hospitality (horspitality! ) and no one enjoys uncomfortable silences so I think we should just get to know one another and this place seems so lovely and these plates are goregous and oh y I think I have a few too many forks..." she rushed her words but slowed as she looked down at the table.

Everyone looked down and noticed that they had two cups or five spoons or a rather abundant number of knives or forks in Peacock's case. Wadsworth coughed and took on a dangerous look. "oh Yvette!" he called in a harsh tone. Yvette came grinning holding another full set of silverware. "He gritted his teeth and shook his head. "I'm very sorry about this mistake...I'm afraid our help is a little...incompetent!" he did his best not to shout and stomped out of the room. Cries could be heard of "Why is it always me!" and "What did I deserve to get such an idiot for a lover!". He soon returned smiling and carrying trays of hot food. He served everyone and the dug in. Ms. Peacock ate moaning "This is one of my favorites!" she cried "Yes I know" Wadsworth said with a mischevious grin.

Colonel Mustard looked at the empty chair at teh head of the table. "Who's chair is that?" he asked. Wadsworth looked at it and stepped aside "That is for the seventh guest Mr. Boddy" "I thought he was our host!" Mustard retorted "So did I!" cried the other guests in near unison. Wadsworth raised his hand about to give an explaination when the doorbell rang "My we're behind in the dialouge" he commented as he strode to the door. Everyone strained hard to hear the conversatoin taking place in the HALL. "You are expected sir!" came Wadsworth sultry voice a scratchy one asked "Are you locking me in?" tere was a puse and it demanded for the key. "Over my dead body sir" Wadsworth replied and offered to take his bag. "It contains evidence does it not?" Wadsworth questioned "I'll leave it in the HALL" the other replied and Wadsworth appeared in the doorway. "Mr. Boddy" Wadsworth introduced him. The man was dressed in a gray suit witha red ascot. He smoked a pipe and seemed quite a bit shorter than Wadsworth. His gray hair was slicked back. They all turned to him and shouted "Where the fuck is your neck!" he cringed and glared at the all.

He sat at the head of the table and Yvette came out putting a plate beside him. "No thank you, I've just eaten you see" Yvette looked puzzled and turned to Wadsworth who motioned for Yvette to go back to the kitchen. Yvette came back out with another plate "No thank you Yvette I already ate!" "How do you know his--er--her...um how do you know Yvette's name!" asked a puzzled Ms. Peacock. "Oh we know each other" grinned Mr. Boddy running his hand up Yvette's leg Wadsworth's eyes opened wider flaring with rage and he stomped his pump on the ground. "Well can I intrest anyone in fruit or dessert? NO! then we should all retire to the STUDY!" he said through clenched teeth looking ready to choke Mr. Boddy. THey all filed out and into the study hurridly.

(okay that's it for this chapter! YAY! Thank you RockyHorrorFreak! You have given me the will to continue! please review and I do apologize for typos because I have to use Word Pad instead of Word...anyways yes review I luv ya all! (do you like who Mr. Boddy is:D))


	4. Blackmail!

Disclaimer: sadly I own none of the brilliance that is Clue or the beloved characters of RHPS...starts sneaking away with Frank in tow what! Not just one? PLEASE! cries fine then...

A.N. okay I'm gonna start chingin' some shtuff so just bare with me. Sorry if you wanted it to be just as it was but then it wouldn't really be very RHPS now would it? exactly sooooooooooooooooooooo this is how it's gonna go 'kay?

"May I suggest we all retire to the Study for coffee and brandy then. I'm sure then our mysterious host shall reveal his intentions" Wadsworth said sharply narrowing his eyes and opening the door so that the guests might all file out. They entered the STUDY and sat down uneasy. "I don't see anyway in here" Ms. Scarlet commented. Wadsworth sturttered over to the desk where a manilla envelope lay, inscribed in magic marker were the words "WADSWORTH OPEN AFTER DINNER!". He picked up a letter opener shaped like Aragon's sword ( I know someone with one). He took out a couple peices of notebook paper ripped messily with words and rather suggestive pictures which he eyed with benign intrest.

"Now you all have been brought here for the same reason...you all are being blackmailed!" he said accentuating each word with malice. Ms. Peacock shrieked "Nu uh! I am not! I mean my life is an open book I've never done anything wrong! There's no reason for anyone to blackmail me!". Frank coughed lightly and gave her alook of disbelief "Anyone else wish to deny it?" they all looked away but no one said anything.

"Very well since you are all in the same boat there's no harm in me revealing some details. And my instructions are to do so!Unless you would like to do the honors Mr. Boddy?". Boddy stood "Do they know who I am?" "You haven't revealed yourself" Frank said tilting his head to the side. "Well it's all a hoax! I--" Wadsworth cut him off "If it's a hoax then why make a movie out of it?" Boddy blinked "Damn" he sat back down. "Your just avoiding running in your heels aren't you!" Boddy shot at him. Frank scowled "I could run laps around you chickenboy!" and Boddy shut up.

He shuffled the papers and eyed the first one. "Well Ms. Peacock it seems your husband, a senator might I add." He began striding towards her (step by step inch by inch milimeter by milimeter ) a vicious glint in his eye. "Ya so what?" asked Ms. Peacock tenetavily. " There's been talk of imoeachement that would ruin not only his standing, but your own." "And?" she asked her voice raising up an octave (if possible : S). Wadsworth flinched and rubbed his ear (an eargasm! I really hafta stop saying lines from RHPS...) "You obviously wouldn't want to fall in station so you began sleep with the voters and...at least attempting to change their minds". Peacock shot Wadsworth an evil glare, he smirked victorious once more. "Well that's just terrible!" Plum shouted standing. "You'r one to talk" said Wadsworth inflecting each synonym expertly. Plum shivered as Wadsworth circled him. "Remember that little favor you did for the head of research? That little foursome you not only helped arrange but" he laughed a little "joined" he spun around from Mustard biting his knuckle and chuckling darkly.

Plum blushed and walked back to his seat next to Peacock who gave him a suggestive wink. He stared at the floor. "Well I would never do such a thing!" ms. White said shifting in her seat. "Neither would I" "or I" agreed Plum and Green. "Not me!" Scarlet laughed. "Your not being blackmailed?" asked Frank with a sneer. "oh I'm being blackmailed but I did what I was blackmailed for!" she went and sat on the desk next to Fra--Wadsworth (you cannot imagine how many times I've nearly typed Frank...and Riff Raff...I actually typed and left Brad's name for a bit this is hard). "And that was exactly?" Frank asked raising his accentuated eyebrow. " I run a certain house of ill repute and well...participate." Frank scoffed "That's nothing" he waved a hand dismissevly at her. She grabbed his shoulder and whispered something in his ear. A slow evil grin caught his lips and he flashed he rhis teeth giving her a satisfactory dirty chuckle (you know exactly what I'm talkin' about! "mm hm hm hn" that one! ). She looked pointedly at Mustard who glared back. "Don't you say anything" he muttered. Wadsworth looked from each of them "You mean?" he gave a hearty laugh "No you tell them it isn't true!" as everyone started putting two and two together. "It's not true" she shrugged "Is that true?" wadsworth asked unbelieving dark eyes narrowed "That's not true" she muttered perfectly audible.

"Adouble negative!" Green shouted standing up. Fr--dammit! Wadsworth's eyes widened and his brows knitted. "That's my line Freaky!" he shouted standing as well. Green startled and sat back down. "You just love to butt in don't you?"White rolled her eyes, Green looked ashamed. Wadsworth crossed his arms still glaring. "You mean you have photographs" Mustard coughed. "It seems the DOUBLE NEGATIVE", Green shrank, "has proven to be positive! Im afraid you gave yourself away!" Mustard growled "Are you trying to make me look like a fool in front of the other guests!" "You need no help from me sir" he responded in a "you stupid, stupid man" voice. Mustard angrily responded "That's right!" and sauntered away dignified Wadsworth rolled his eyes and sighed. "Well I didn't do anything as despicable as any of you!" White said haughtily. "Oh really" Wadsworth replied "What about your husband Ms. White?" "Which--I mean what about him?" she caught herself quickle, but Fra--Wadsworth being his usual deducive self grinned at her his lipstick making his lusciously full lips displaying his understanding of her slipup (#.# thinking of his lips makes me drool...gets dizzy and nearly faints). "He died under rather...shall we say "suspicious" circumstances.White shrugged "I found him he had been stabbed and his...well you know was" she slid a finger across her neck. All the men crossed their legs and Wadsworth's eyes opened, closed and he shivered noticeably. Green stood up straightening his suit. "I'm just going to admit it straight out. I work as a an assitant to a rather famed scientist and...I'm gay" he looked around. Wadsworth's eyes shot open and they glittered. He falshed a toothy smile to Green who sat back down almost fearful of the rather suggestive look Wadsworth was giving him.

"Well tha's all settled now isn't it?" WAdsworth laughed deep and purry still eyeing Green. "It wasn't that hard." "But what about Boddy?" asked Peacock pointing to aforementioned man. "Haven't you guessed? He's the one blackmailing you all!" They all turned to shoot him nasty looks. "But the police will be here soon so we can turn him in" Wadsworth smiled and they turned back wide eyed. "No you can't do that!" they all shouted random other protsets coming as they surronded him. Wadsworth cringed (you know like he does in the movie, Frank, not Wadsworth) "SHut up! If we confess everything then he'll be locked aaway for good!" they looked at one another wondering what was worse, revealing deep dark secrets, or conintuing to pay blackmail. "I think I have something to help them make up their minds!" Boddy grinned. Wadsworth scoffed "Neckless son of a..." he trailed off. He came back with his suitcase from the HALL. He passed them each a little black box tied with string. "Did you know you were going to met us?" Scarlet asked taking her present and going back to the desk. "Yes I read about it actually"Wadsworth slapped his forehead. As each person opened their box they looked at Boddy confused. "You each have a lethal weapon. You know no one needs to know about this little meeting. All you have to do is kill Wadsworth." he shrugged at looked at Wadsworth who bit his lower lip and brushed a hand through his curls.

"I suggest you do so, now!" He turned off the lights, movment could be heard. A couple thumps a gun shot a scream and the lights came back on. Boddy lay on the floor face down.

(Okay I want a lot of input here do you think I did a good job mixing in RHPS themes? I want an honest answer!...kind of...and also I wrote another little ficcy with me and Frank but I'm kinda refraining about postin git...do you think it's too selfish for me to post a fic with me and Frank? Please give me a full honest answer on this one. I mean it's well written but...i just feel conceited posting something like that...I don't know why...hmmm. cross examines self anyways so yes just please review! thankies!)


	5. Suprise and Alarm

Disclaimer: nothin' yet though I would lovingly cling to Frankie's thighs everyday all day if possible.

A.N. sorry this took so long it's just this fic takes a lot of energy to write...

Ms. Peacock flicked the light switch on revealing Mr. Boddy's still...well body. Wadsworth's eyes widened and a smug grin threatened to show itself. Professor Plum rushed over waving his arms around the surrounding crowd. "Give him some air!" he shouted putting two fingers to the man's wrist. He moved to his neck, then leaned down checking for breath. Aparently there was none as he lifted his head up slowly. "He's dead" he muttered audible enough for all to hear.

"Who killed him?" asked Ms. Scarlet. "There was a shot!" exclaimed Green and they looked at Plum. "Your the one who had the gun!" Green snapped a thim. "I didn't do it!"he retorted Green scowled. He flipped the corpse over. "See no bullet wound, someone tried to grab the pistol in the dark and must have missed" he reasoned. The others looked at each other and nodded. Mustard caught something "It broke that vase over there!" he pointed and every head turned they all rushed over like excited children causing one or two jams to get there. "He's right here's the bullet hole in the wall!" Plum cried out.

"But who tried to shoot him?" Scarlet asked "Well we all had motive..." Wadsworth shrugged. "Great we'll all go to the chair!" she growled sarcastically. "I need a drink" Peacock grumbled going over to where Boddy had left his brandy glass. Plum stooped over the body looking at Ms. Peacock "Maybe he was poisoned..." he thought out loud as she took a rather large swig. She dropped the glass screaming hysterically. Mr. Green took her arm and led her to the couch sitting her down. He gave her a hearty slap and her noise ceased. "I-uh had to stop her screaming" he mumbled.

Suddenly they heard another scream from the next rom over. "Yvette!" Wadsworth cried and theyall filed out of the room in a slight panic. They banged on the door trying to get it to open. Wadsworth jiggled the handle furiously when the door finally gave way. The disgruntled blonde had wet cheeks and a shaky voice. "Bad person here..." he said muffled. "What?" Wadsworth asked. "Bad person kill Boddy. I drink bad drink." Wadsworth scowled "I told you, you can't drink unitl your older!" he took Yvette's hand and snacked it dutifully but not too harshly. Yvette flinched but otherwise remained calm. "ALright come with us to the study you must be shaken...poor baby" Wadsworth cooed hugging Yvette happily.

Once back in the STUDY they started to think through what had happened. "THis isn't what I'd intended" moaned Wadsworth collapsing into the nearest chair hands to eyes in defeat. "It's not at all what I'd planned!" "What YOU intended!" snapped Ms. White staring at him. "Yes" he conceited looking up witha sad look in his glittering orbs. "If Mr. Boddy invited us why did he arrive late to his own party!"

( okay I know this is incredibly short but I am sooo tired...looks at clock and groans I need some inspiration please...anything'll do...just keep me writing please?)


	6. EDDIE! well the cook

Disclaimer: what do youthink? I wouldn't be writin gthis if I had Frank now would I?

A.N.: okay I'm writing cracks fingers here we go oh I'm thinking of posting a random Frank ficcyit's gonna be about him adapting to Earth...I'm tossing the idea around...that or maybe just something literally totally random...hmmm anyways...

"I invited you all here, in fact I wrote the letters" he sighed and leaned back into the chair. "Wait wait I don't understand" Ms. White approached him arms out. "Were you assisting in his blackmail?" "Certanitly not!" Wadsworth retorted standing straight up startling her. "I thin kyou had better explain" she muttered folding her hands against her stomach. "Well I'm not the butler, in fact I'm not abutler" he msiled broadly and they shot him confused looks. "I merely discovered that this lecher was blackmailing you all when I overheard him haughtily boasting about his vile schemes". "When did you hear that?" questioned Ms. Peacock puzzled.

"It was when I slept with his butler. I asked him about what I had overheard and he confirmed it. He then told me a terribly tragic tale of how he and his wife had been blackmailed. She had friends whio were..." he made a strained face and bit his lip "socialsits" the others narrowing their brows a little more was the only siginificant change from their highly confused semi-flustered expressions. "They were forced to work for nothing for him. Poor blighters..." he stroked an imaginary tear from his eye. A slow smile crept onto his lips "Besides that though he was quite good in bed" he chuckled "Well then who are you?" Green asked pointing accusingly at "Wadsworth".

"Well so as to save confusion just keep calling me Wadsworth, though Frank would be easier on the authoress" he shrugged and walked over to the desk. "Anyways that is unimportant we must figure out who killed Boddy before the police arrive". They all nodded in agreement. "Well who else was here that could have done it?" Mustard mumbled. "What about the cook?" Plum asked stroking his chin. "What do you know of the cook Proffesor Plum?" Wadsworth asked pointedly leaning forward brows knitted. "I happen to know a great deal about a lot of things" Plum answered smugly. Wadsworth shook his head and put the heel of his hand to his forehead. "Shall we inquire of him in person?" Wadsworth strutted towards the door everyone following.

As the travelling music started they rushed passed wadsworth who kept calmly walking. Green was the first to enter the room. The gazed about the other guests cautiously doing the same. As he reached the freezer door he turned to them. "Not here" he mumbled scratching his head.

Then suddenly the door swung open and out tumbled an overweight man wearing a black wig and dressed in a white apron and black leather jacket. Green caught him straining "Can somebody help me...please" he began to sink to the tiled floor "Can somebody Help Me PLEASE!" he collapsed with the body. Scarlet dashed over and stared.

A knife stuck out of his back White went for it but Mustard clamped a hand over it. "DON'T touch it that's evidence!" he shouted at her. "We can't take fingerprints!" she retorted turning to Scarlet. "Who'd want to murder the cook dinner wasn't that bad" she chuckled lightly. "How can you make jokes at a time like this!" Mustard shouted again standing angrily. "It's my defense mechanism" she replied crossing her arms. "Some defense if I was the killer I'd kill you next!" he pointed at her accusingly. They turned to him with wid eeyes. "I said 'if' 'IF'!" he loosened his tie feeling exceedingly nervous. "There is only one admitted killer in this room and it is not me it is her!" he turned a hateful glare to Ms. White who backed away. "I haven't admitted anything" she looked to the floor. "How many husbands have you had?" Mustard continued following her escape. "Mine or other women's?" she asked turning to face him. "Yours" he said sharply "Five" "Five?" he seemed shocked. "yes just the five" her eyes fell "Husbands should be like Kleenex soft, strong, and disposable!" she feigned innocence eyes glittering. "I agree" Wadsworth said finally making an entrance "Except with lovers, not husbandsI'd never marry anyone" he smiled leaning against the railing while the pthers rolled their eyes or just stared at him in worry, appalment, and/or in a rather unsuprised nature.

(okay I'm takin' a break here review!)


	7. Observations can be Painful

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!...and I wasn't shouting...really...looks around for candlesticks

A.N.: sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry...my other RHPS fic+school+writing another fic I haven't written in ages MAJOR STRESS AND LACK OF UPDATING! I'm sorry!...

They all quickly agreed to put the cook in the study with Mr. Boddy, as Wadsworth had said "Well we might as well keep the kitchen tidy!" Thus Mustard, Plum, Green, and Wadsworth all found themselves carrying a VERY heavy dead body down the HALL. As they began entering the doorway Mustard noticed something..."Mr. Boddy is gone!" he shouted dropping the cook's right arm.

"He is!" Wadsworth concured letting the other arm thud against the floor. "What is it?" Mrs. Peacock questioned from the rear "Nothing!" Mr. Green answered astounded. "What?" she retorted thourghly befuddled. "He means nobody. Mr. Boddy's body is gone!" They all rushed forward into the room searchign about for him. "He couldn't have been dead!" Mr. Green said looking over at Plum. "But he was! At least I thought he was, but what diffrence does it make now?" he began unfastening his tie. "Well it makes quite a diffrence to him" Scarlet snapped back glancing under papers. "Maybe there is such a thing as life after death..." Scarlet muttered sitting in the desk chair. "PLease life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage!" White retorted shooting her a meaningful look. Scarlet noticed something casually lying underneath the manilla envelope.

She pulled them out, they were photot negatives. "Wadsworth what are these?" "I'm afraid thsoe are the negatives to which Colonel Mustard earlier referred". He glanced at them then the floor leaning against the deak as Scarlet scanned them over. "Were you planning to blackmail him with them?" "certainly not I was merely going to return them once he had been unmasked"he replied. "Hey Yvette I think you should take alook at these they might shock you!" she held them out in Yvette's direction. "I...monster!" Yvette said as haughtily as possible with a grunt. "What?" Scarlet asked barely able to decipher the words. "Let me see those" Plum said taking them from Scarlet and holding them to the light. White followed looking up at them as was everyone else.

"oh my...NO one can get into that postion!" she commented in amazement. "Sure you can!" Wadsworth replied smiling leading her over to the couch and alying her down. He began putting on of er legs over his thigh her giving him a slight smile. "Hey!" Plum shouted causing Wadsworth to roll his eyes, but get off of a now disapointed Mrs. White."Well I think I'm just going to uh..." she turned to Yvette "Is there a little girls room?" Yvette grumbled and pointed out the door. "riiiight" Peacock answered stepping over the cook and entering the HALL. "Maybe Mr. Boddy killed the cook!" Green shouted out raising a finger into the air excietdly. Everyone else light up "yes!" the cried in unison. Wadsworth cocked his head towards Green. "How?" immediatly shooting down everyone's revelistic happiness.

All of a sudden a shrill scream came from down the HALL. They all dashed out seeing Mr. Boddy draped on Mrs. Peacock. "Mr. Boddy is attacking her!" Green called out he and Plum grabbed hold of the man's shoulders finding him strangly limp. Soon he lay bloody on the wood floor. "Somebody's killed him...again!" Wadsworth noted staring at the bloody corpse in confusoin. "You have blood on your hands..." White pointed at Green. "I didn't do it!" he frantically cried wiping it off as best he could with his handkerchief.

"Oh my god..." Peacock slurred begining to slump backward. "She's going to faint!" Wadsworth shouted. "Somebody catch her!" Proffesor Plum called out. "I'll catch her!" Wadsworth said running over to her, "Fall into my arms!" he instructed as she promptly missed. "Sorry" he said shrugging and walking back to the corpse. He lifted an arm "He's got new injuries" he let it fall with a thump back down. "Well he's certaintly dead now...who would want to kill him twice?" Wadsworh questioned looking around at them all. "Seems so unnessecary" Peacock commented. "That's what we call overkill" Mustard mumbled "What we call psychotic!" Plum added. Wadsworth wandered over into the bathroom searching along the walls and ledges for anyhting peculiar.

"Well if he's dead now that means he wasn't dead before!" Green pointed out. "What's the diffrence?" Plum restated. Wadsworth stomped angrily from the bathroom. "That's what we're trying to figure out!" Wadsworth interjected angrily. "We're trying to figure out who killed him, and when, and with what--" "there's no need to shout" Plum shrank back. "I'm not shouting!" Wadsworth yelled at him. White and Green raised an eyebrow at him. He shifted uneasily "Alright I am! I'm shouting! I'm shouting! I'm---" suddenly from over the doorframe the candlestick came and made a quick collision with Wadsworth's cranium. He froze and fell forward. Everyone flinched and made a 'that-reeeeeaaaaaally-has to hurt' face instantly sympathizing with him...

(yes I know I switched some lines around...it was purposeful...kind of...well anyways I updated so there...review please?)


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